Who Am I as a Communicator?

As I think about the similarities and differences between how I evaluate myself as a communicator and how others evaluate me, one thing that surprised me the most is how my mom and good friend evaluated me as a communicator. They evaluated me to be a better communicator than I evaluated myself. That motivated me a great deal because it showed me that some people view me better than I view myself. I gained quite a few insights this week. I will share two:

1) "Always continue to follow the 'Platinum Rule'"; "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you". Although this rule was brought to our attention last week, I do not believe we can be reminded of it too much. 

2) "We must (continue to) be unbiased and open to receive different people and their ideas". This ties in to the first insight I shared. We want people to be open to receive who we are and what we have to offer. So we must give that same respect to other people and receive them as well.

I truly believe that these two insights inform my professional work and personal life because they can be applied to people of all ages and all backgrounds (everyone)! 

Communicating With My "Peoples"

As I begin to reflect on how I communicate with people overall, I have come to realize that I do communicate with different people in different ways. When I communicate with my colleagues, I try to be as respectful as I can because we are "dwelling" in an educational environment, where we can learn not only from our instructors, but from each other as well. Versus when I communication with people in my neighborhood, I have to give a "tough yet soft" image when communicating with them, but I am still respectful. I'm nice to people but also let them know that I can protect myself in case they want to try some "slick stuff". In this case, I would say that my non-verbal cues "speak" louder than my verbal cues. 

With this being said, I believe I have come up with three strategies that I could use to help me communicate more effectively my colleagues and those in my neighborhood. Although I communicate with them differently, I believe these three strategies will work across the board. 

NUMBER ONE: "Follow the Platinum Rule"; 'Do unto other as you would want them to do unto you'. Simple yet complicated. We as humans can be selfish when we speak to others, not considering what we are saying to the others or what they want to say to us. But we want everyone to listen to us. It doesn't work that way. We must respect one another in order to receive respect from one another...

#2: "Be careful of what my non-verbal cues maybe given off or 'saying'": Sometimes, the words that come out of our mouths are "silenced" by our non-verbal cues. Or sometimes we may say (or write) something that has a "subliminal" message attached to it that can be taken out of context. Along with that, we may not say one word but our body language/facial expressions have the potential to speak volumes.

3) Constantly be aware of "cultural myopia": a form of nearsightedness grounded in the belief that one's own culture is appropriate and relevant in all situations and to all people" (O'H air & Wiemann, p. 45, 2012). Everyone is different, period. Regardless of how many similarities we may have, we are still individuals. So we have to open-minded when communicating with each other. Everyone has their own unique way of thinking and expressing themselves. As along as we can respect each other while these actions take place, we should be ok! I truly believe that....

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Verbal/Nonverbal Communication

I watched a show for the first time called "State of Georgia". Raven Symone is the star! Let me first say that this show is hilarious and it is available on Netflix. :-)

But as I watched the show with the sound turned off, I thought that the relationship between her and a Venezuelan girl (Majandra Delfino) was just a business/co-worker relationship. They worked in a perfume store together. But as the show went on, I saw that they were more than just co-workers. They were like "partners in crime". Then there were scenes with Raven Symone, her friend and an older lady, Loretta Divine. I assumed that Loretta Divine played Raven Symone's mother. But I later found out that she was actually her aunt who was "very popular" among the "male celebrities" lol.

At times, I would see Raven Symone and Majandra Delfino make certain faces, as if they were not happy about something or thought trouble was on the way. However, Loretta Divine smiled a lot and had her share of cocktails lol. So she seemed happy most of the time. Raven and Majandra did a lot of fast moving together, as if they were always on a mission. In different scenarios, Raven smiled a lot and used her arms in some way to emphasize excitement: whether it would be lifting them up, and/or wave them around rapidly

After watching the show with the sound on, my assumptions were pretty close but not exact. The friendship between Raven and Majandra was deeper than I thought it was. Yeah, they are "partners in crime" but come to find out, they moved to New York together from Georgia in order to pursue their dreams. So that displayed a strong bond to me. It was one particular scene where Raven auditioned for an acting role and the guy who was doing the auditions rejected her. But later in the show, she goes back and entices him with her "curves" and fatty food. At first when I watched it in silence, I do not know what was going on. I thought they were having a dinner date and he did something that she did not like at that time. But come to find out, he rejected her previously because he felt she was "too big" to play the role she tried out for; not to mention, he used to be "big" himself. But he lost a lot of weight over time and it went to his head. So when she went back to his place, she was on a mission to show him that "thick girls" can play sexy roles too, and that he still had an undercover love for fatty food. :-)

I believe my assumptions would have probably been more correct if I had been watching a show that I knew well. Just for the simple facts that I would have already known who each character was and what they are capable of doing; versus with this show, I had to put everything together while watching for the first time. However, you can never be too sure what is going on when you watch something in silence. We still need sound and words (language) to tell us what is going on for real. That's why I wish (sometimes) that children came out of the womb talking because it would make it easier to find out if something is wrong with them or if something happened to them. Babies are coming out of the womb advance these days so for all we know, that just may happen lol. But I must admit, it was fun analyzing this show without the sound. It was funny to me then. But watching it with the sound really brought it home. This proves once again that language and nonverbal cues should always work together in order for effective communication to take place (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 98). 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Blog 1: Competent Communication

When I think about those in my life who demonstrate competent communication, a few people come to mind. But the person who sticks out the most is my mother. Let me tell you that this woman knows how to get her point across to someone, and I'm her child so...I have taken on some of her characteristics of course. I believe that her communication is effective because once she is done expressing herself, everything is clear and there is no confusion or unanswered questions. However, as her child, I have not always "appreciated" how she would communicate to my sisters and I. But now that I am older, I understand why she did what she did and how she did what she did. She was looking out for us because she had our best interest at heart. Sometimes, she would hold things in before saying telling us what is going on but when she did, all the cards were laid on the table. I am the same way at times and I believe that is something that we both need to work on. However, we tend to not say things because we feel that no one else but God would understand us. So we would keep it to ourselves. With that being said, I do model communication behaviors from her because..she's my mom! And she has taught me what she knows. I may not always agree with how she communicates but at the end of the day, as long as we know what it going on and our questions are answered, we really cannot complain! I have made some improvements in my communication over the years but there is still room for improvement. And I am mature enough to admit that....