The Fifth Stage of Team Development

Adjourning (as well as the other stages) is a very essential stage in team development. It's like the conclusion to a research paper. I believe it brings “everything together”: ties up most (if not all) of the loose ends. When I think about the groups I have been a part of in my lifetime, the ones I liked the most were those that had the best “endings”. We were one on accord with what we were trying to do; we had the same vision. By the time the meetings came to an end, it was already established that we were on the same page. And that felt really good.

I would say that the high-performing groups and those with the clearest established norms were the hardest to leave. When I think about the groups that may have had both of these “qualities”, I think about my church choir and band. We had the same vision in mind: to win souls. Music is a tool to bring people on one accord anyway so I believe that played a huge part in our unity. We would always pray before and after practice. So even if we did veer off and lose focus, I believe the prayer put us back on track. 

I imagine that the adjourning from my colleagues will be somewhat similar to the adjourning from the choir/band. Although I may not communicate with some of them outside of this program, I believe that we all have the same vision in mind. We all have a passion for children (at least I hope we all do). We all want to make a difference. We all want to make a change in society. With that being said, I will always feel connected to my colleagues for these reasons. I will always know in my heart that we are serving our purpose. I do not believe we would be in this degree program if we were planning to do otherwise.

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Nonviolent Communication is the Key!

I just started a new job working in sales. I like the job a lot; there is so much to learn about selling home security systems. I had my training about three weeks ago and it was pretty intense. There was a lady in the class who apparently had more sales experience than me. We had to do a "role play" and needless to say, I still needed more training (lol). But everyone in the class made mistakes when they did the role playing. So it was no big deal...so I thought.

After I was done, my trainer asked did anyone have any feedback on how I did. The lady with all the "sales experience" had something to say, which was not applicable to what I had done. I am not going to lie, at first, I was offended. "Who are you telling me anything? You are in this training class just like I am". But instead, I "stopped, looked (at her), and listened to what she had to say. And I am so glad I did because that could have turned into a mess! Nonviolent communication is always the best way to go when trying to resolve a conflict. So, I took a deep breath and told her what was really true and my trainer backed me on what I said. He turned around and came down on me but he can do those things...HE'S THE TRAINER! And what he said was right. So I took the correction for what it was.

With that being said, the "stop, look and listen" strategy was something that I was reminded of this week. But learned it more in depth. And I believe that the "stop" part is the most important part: "Stop. Take time to prepare. Take a time out. Count to 10. Take a deep breath. Remember, 'everything starts by stopping'". This is so true; and working through this conflict proved it. 

Another strategy I learned is called "alternative dispute resolution" or "ADR". ADR refers to any process or collection of processes established to resolve disputes without trial or violence. As I mentioned in my application assignment, there is no set way to resolve conflicts in a nonviolent way. But there are many ways to resolve conflicts peacefully. I believe that was proven true working through this conflict as well. What do you all think? Feel free to give feedback. Thanks in advance!

http://www.acrnet.org/Page.aspx?id=691

http://www.thirdside.org/SKILLS_01.cfm

Who Am I as a Communicator?

As I think about the similarities and differences between how I evaluate myself as a communicator and how others evaluate me, one thing that surprised me the most is how my mom and good friend evaluated me as a communicator. They evaluated me to be a better communicator than I evaluated myself. That motivated me a great deal because it showed me that some people view me better than I view myself. I gained quite a few insights this week. I will share two:

1) "Always continue to follow the 'Platinum Rule'"; "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you". Although this rule was brought to our attention last week, I do not believe we can be reminded of it too much. 

2) "We must (continue to) be unbiased and open to receive different people and their ideas". This ties in to the first insight I shared. We want people to be open to receive who we are and what we have to offer. So we must give that same respect to other people and receive them as well.

I truly believe that these two insights inform my professional work and personal life because they can be applied to people of all ages and all backgrounds (everyone)! 

Communicating With My "Peoples"

As I begin to reflect on how I communicate with people overall, I have come to realize that I do communicate with different people in different ways. When I communicate with my colleagues, I try to be as respectful as I can because we are "dwelling" in an educational environment, where we can learn not only from our instructors, but from each other as well. Versus when I communication with people in my neighborhood, I have to give a "tough yet soft" image when communicating with them, but I am still respectful. I'm nice to people but also let them know that I can protect myself in case they want to try some "slick stuff". In this case, I would say that my non-verbal cues "speak" louder than my verbal cues. 

With this being said, I believe I have come up with three strategies that I could use to help me communicate more effectively my colleagues and those in my neighborhood. Although I communicate with them differently, I believe these three strategies will work across the board. 

NUMBER ONE: "Follow the Platinum Rule"; 'Do unto other as you would want them to do unto you'. Simple yet complicated. We as humans can be selfish when we speak to others, not considering what we are saying to the others or what they want to say to us. But we want everyone to listen to us. It doesn't work that way. We must respect one another in order to receive respect from one another...

#2: "Be careful of what my non-verbal cues maybe given off or 'saying'": Sometimes, the words that come out of our mouths are "silenced" by our non-verbal cues. Or sometimes we may say (or write) something that has a "subliminal" message attached to it that can be taken out of context. Along with that, we may not say one word but our body language/facial expressions have the potential to speak volumes.

3) Constantly be aware of "cultural myopia": a form of nearsightedness grounded in the belief that one's own culture is appropriate and relevant in all situations and to all people" (O'H air & Wiemann, p. 45, 2012). Everyone is different, period. Regardless of how many similarities we may have, we are still individuals. So we have to open-minded when communicating with each other. Everyone has their own unique way of thinking and expressing themselves. As along as we can respect each other while these actions take place, we should be ok! I truly believe that....

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Verbal/Nonverbal Communication

I watched a show for the first time called "State of Georgia". Raven Symone is the star! Let me first say that this show is hilarious and it is available on Netflix. :-)

But as I watched the show with the sound turned off, I thought that the relationship between her and a Venezuelan girl (Majandra Delfino) was just a business/co-worker relationship. They worked in a perfume store together. But as the show went on, I saw that they were more than just co-workers. They were like "partners in crime". Then there were scenes with Raven Symone, her friend and an older lady, Loretta Divine. I assumed that Loretta Divine played Raven Symone's mother. But I later found out that she was actually her aunt who was "very popular" among the "male celebrities" lol.

At times, I would see Raven Symone and Majandra Delfino make certain faces, as if they were not happy about something or thought trouble was on the way. However, Loretta Divine smiled a lot and had her share of cocktails lol. So she seemed happy most of the time. Raven and Majandra did a lot of fast moving together, as if they were always on a mission. In different scenarios, Raven smiled a lot and used her arms in some way to emphasize excitement: whether it would be lifting them up, and/or wave them around rapidly

After watching the show with the sound on, my assumptions were pretty close but not exact. The friendship between Raven and Majandra was deeper than I thought it was. Yeah, they are "partners in crime" but come to find out, they moved to New York together from Georgia in order to pursue their dreams. So that displayed a strong bond to me. It was one particular scene where Raven auditioned for an acting role and the guy who was doing the auditions rejected her. But later in the show, she goes back and entices him with her "curves" and fatty food. At first when I watched it in silence, I do not know what was going on. I thought they were having a dinner date and he did something that she did not like at that time. But come to find out, he rejected her previously because he felt she was "too big" to play the role she tried out for; not to mention, he used to be "big" himself. But he lost a lot of weight over time and it went to his head. So when she went back to his place, she was on a mission to show him that "thick girls" can play sexy roles too, and that he still had an undercover love for fatty food. :-)

I believe my assumptions would have probably been more correct if I had been watching a show that I knew well. Just for the simple facts that I would have already known who each character was and what they are capable of doing; versus with this show, I had to put everything together while watching for the first time. However, you can never be too sure what is going on when you watch something in silence. We still need sound and words (language) to tell us what is going on for real. That's why I wish (sometimes) that children came out of the womb talking because it would make it easier to find out if something is wrong with them or if something happened to them. Babies are coming out of the womb advance these days so for all we know, that just may happen lol. But I must admit, it was fun analyzing this show without the sound. It was funny to me then. But watching it with the sound really brought it home. This proves once again that language and nonverbal cues should always work together in order for effective communication to take place (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 98). 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Blog 1: Competent Communication

When I think about those in my life who demonstrate competent communication, a few people come to mind. But the person who sticks out the most is my mother. Let me tell you that this woman knows how to get her point across to someone, and I'm her child so...I have taken on some of her characteristics of course. I believe that her communication is effective because once she is done expressing herself, everything is clear and there is no confusion or unanswered questions. However, as her child, I have not always "appreciated" how she would communicate to my sisters and I. But now that I am older, I understand why she did what she did and how she did what she did. She was looking out for us because she had our best interest at heart. Sometimes, she would hold things in before saying telling us what is going on but when she did, all the cards were laid on the table. I am the same way at times and I believe that is something that we both need to work on. However, we tend to not say things because we feel that no one else but God would understand us. So we would keep it to ourselves. With that being said, I do model communication behaviors from her because..she's my mom! And she has taught me what she knows. I may not always agree with how she communicates but at the end of the day, as long as we know what it going on and our questions are answered, we really cannot complain! I have made some improvements in my communication over the years but there is still room for improvement. And I am mature enough to admit that....

Professional Hopes and Goals

When I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds, I hope that it turns out to be an "easy challenge". Somewhat of an oximoron, I know. But on the surface, I work very well with people. That is easy for me. However, for the most part, I have been around people who have a similiar background as I do. But the "challenge" comes in when I start dealing with people with different backgrounds who have different points-of-views. Although I have quite a bit of experience with working/learning/interacting in diverse settings, there is still that "slight feeling of being uncomfortable" that causes me to doubt that I am able to do it in my own business. My facility will be available to "everyone". My concern is when they walk into the facility and see that it is ran mostly by my family and friends (not because I'm being prejudice or anything, they are just very supportive). Or when they hear that it is "black owned", I hope that I am not judged for that. I understand that I cannot control anyone else's actions or thoughts. But I want a fair chance just as the children do. Let me prove to you that me "having brown skin" has nothing to do how I run my business and how I care for these children. I was born with this passion. Therefore, the passion was in me before I even developed a "color".

"Mandatory Diverse Outreach", would be one goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity and social justice. What that would consist of is reaching out to different people from different backgrounds in different ways.For example, with a child care facility, we could have a "street team" who goes out to different communities, especially diverse communities and tell them about the facility and what services we offer. But the "underlying main purpose" would be to search for people from different backgrounds who we don't service in the center, or who haven't had a chance to get into my facility for whatever reason (didn't know about it, no transportation, not confident in English, etc.). We should make it our business to try to service every ethnic background possible, ON A CONSISTENT BASIS. Not just when we feel like it or when we're feeling all "diverse" and everything. It should be an on-going basis.

With that being said, I would like to thank my colleagues for embracing me as a classmate. I believe we displayed a wonderful example of diversity, We all had similarities and differences and that made the course very interesting. We got along just fine and that shows that people from different backgrounds can get interact with each other and learn together. I wish you all the best as we continue our EC journey. It keeps getting better and better!

Special thanks to Dr. Darragh for instructing the class and participating in our discussions. Best wishes to you as well. :-)




God bless you all!