Who Am I as a Communicator?

As I think about the similarities and differences between how I evaluate myself as a communicator and how others evaluate me, one thing that surprised me the most is how my mom and good friend evaluated me as a communicator. They evaluated me to be a better communicator than I evaluated myself. That motivated me a great deal because it showed me that some people view me better than I view myself. I gained quite a few insights this week. I will share two:

1) "Always continue to follow the 'Platinum Rule'"; "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you". Although this rule was brought to our attention last week, I do not believe we can be reminded of it too much. 

2) "We must (continue to) be unbiased and open to receive different people and their ideas". This ties in to the first insight I shared. We want people to be open to receive who we are and what we have to offer. So we must give that same respect to other people and receive them as well.

I truly believe that these two insights inform my professional work and personal life because they can be applied to people of all ages and all backgrounds (everyone)! 

Communicating With My "Peoples"

As I begin to reflect on how I communicate with people overall, I have come to realize that I do communicate with different people in different ways. When I communicate with my colleagues, I try to be as respectful as I can because we are "dwelling" in an educational environment, where we can learn not only from our instructors, but from each other as well. Versus when I communication with people in my neighborhood, I have to give a "tough yet soft" image when communicating with them, but I am still respectful. I'm nice to people but also let them know that I can protect myself in case they want to try some "slick stuff". In this case, I would say that my non-verbal cues "speak" louder than my verbal cues. 

With this being said, I believe I have come up with three strategies that I could use to help me communicate more effectively my colleagues and those in my neighborhood. Although I communicate with them differently, I believe these three strategies will work across the board. 

NUMBER ONE: "Follow the Platinum Rule"; 'Do unto other as you would want them to do unto you'. Simple yet complicated. We as humans can be selfish when we speak to others, not considering what we are saying to the others or what they want to say to us. But we want everyone to listen to us. It doesn't work that way. We must respect one another in order to receive respect from one another...

#2: "Be careful of what my non-verbal cues maybe given off or 'saying'": Sometimes, the words that come out of our mouths are "silenced" by our non-verbal cues. Or sometimes we may say (or write) something that has a "subliminal" message attached to it that can be taken out of context. Along with that, we may not say one word but our body language/facial expressions have the potential to speak volumes.

3) Constantly be aware of "cultural myopia": a form of nearsightedness grounded in the belief that one's own culture is appropriate and relevant in all situations and to all people" (O'H air & Wiemann, p. 45, 2012). Everyone is different, period. Regardless of how many similarities we may have, we are still individuals. So we have to open-minded when communicating with each other. Everyone has their own unique way of thinking and expressing themselves. As along as we can respect each other while these actions take place, we should be ok! I truly believe that....

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Verbal/Nonverbal Communication

I watched a show for the first time called "State of Georgia". Raven Symone is the star! Let me first say that this show is hilarious and it is available on Netflix. :-)

But as I watched the show with the sound turned off, I thought that the relationship between her and a Venezuelan girl (Majandra Delfino) was just a business/co-worker relationship. They worked in a perfume store together. But as the show went on, I saw that they were more than just co-workers. They were like "partners in crime". Then there were scenes with Raven Symone, her friend and an older lady, Loretta Divine. I assumed that Loretta Divine played Raven Symone's mother. But I later found out that she was actually her aunt who was "very popular" among the "male celebrities" lol.

At times, I would see Raven Symone and Majandra Delfino make certain faces, as if they were not happy about something or thought trouble was on the way. However, Loretta Divine smiled a lot and had her share of cocktails lol. So she seemed happy most of the time. Raven and Majandra did a lot of fast moving together, as if they were always on a mission. In different scenarios, Raven smiled a lot and used her arms in some way to emphasize excitement: whether it would be lifting them up, and/or wave them around rapidly

After watching the show with the sound on, my assumptions were pretty close but not exact. The friendship between Raven and Majandra was deeper than I thought it was. Yeah, they are "partners in crime" but come to find out, they moved to New York together from Georgia in order to pursue their dreams. So that displayed a strong bond to me. It was one particular scene where Raven auditioned for an acting role and the guy who was doing the auditions rejected her. But later in the show, she goes back and entices him with her "curves" and fatty food. At first when I watched it in silence, I do not know what was going on. I thought they were having a dinner date and he did something that she did not like at that time. But come to find out, he rejected her previously because he felt she was "too big" to play the role she tried out for; not to mention, he used to be "big" himself. But he lost a lot of weight over time and it went to his head. So when she went back to his place, she was on a mission to show him that "thick girls" can play sexy roles too, and that he still had an undercover love for fatty food. :-)

I believe my assumptions would have probably been more correct if I had been watching a show that I knew well. Just for the simple facts that I would have already known who each character was and what they are capable of doing; versus with this show, I had to put everything together while watching for the first time. However, you can never be too sure what is going on when you watch something in silence. We still need sound and words (language) to tell us what is going on for real. That's why I wish (sometimes) that children came out of the womb talking because it would make it easier to find out if something is wrong with them or if something happened to them. Babies are coming out of the womb advance these days so for all we know, that just may happen lol. But I must admit, it was fun analyzing this show without the sound. It was funny to me then. But watching it with the sound really brought it home. This proves once again that language and nonverbal cues should always work together in order for effective communication to take place (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 98). 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Blog 1: Competent Communication

When I think about those in my life who demonstrate competent communication, a few people come to mind. But the person who sticks out the most is my mother. Let me tell you that this woman knows how to get her point across to someone, and I'm her child so...I have taken on some of her characteristics of course. I believe that her communication is effective because once she is done expressing herself, everything is clear and there is no confusion or unanswered questions. However, as her child, I have not always "appreciated" how she would communicate to my sisters and I. But now that I am older, I understand why she did what she did and how she did what she did. She was looking out for us because she had our best interest at heart. Sometimes, she would hold things in before saying telling us what is going on but when she did, all the cards were laid on the table. I am the same way at times and I believe that is something that we both need to work on. However, we tend to not say things because we feel that no one else but God would understand us. So we would keep it to ourselves. With that being said, I do model communication behaviors from her because..she's my mom! And she has taught me what she knows. I may not always agree with how she communicates but at the end of the day, as long as we know what it going on and our questions are answered, we really cannot complain! I have made some improvements in my communication over the years but there is still room for improvement. And I am mature enough to admit that....

Professional Hopes and Goals

When I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds, I hope that it turns out to be an "easy challenge". Somewhat of an oximoron, I know. But on the surface, I work very well with people. That is easy for me. However, for the most part, I have been around people who have a similiar background as I do. But the "challenge" comes in when I start dealing with people with different backgrounds who have different points-of-views. Although I have quite a bit of experience with working/learning/interacting in diverse settings, there is still that "slight feeling of being uncomfortable" that causes me to doubt that I am able to do it in my own business. My facility will be available to "everyone". My concern is when they walk into the facility and see that it is ran mostly by my family and friends (not because I'm being prejudice or anything, they are just very supportive). Or when they hear that it is "black owned", I hope that I am not judged for that. I understand that I cannot control anyone else's actions or thoughts. But I want a fair chance just as the children do. Let me prove to you that me "having brown skin" has nothing to do how I run my business and how I care for these children. I was born with this passion. Therefore, the passion was in me before I even developed a "color".

"Mandatory Diverse Outreach", would be one goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity and social justice. What that would consist of is reaching out to different people from different backgrounds in different ways.For example, with a child care facility, we could have a "street team" who goes out to different communities, especially diverse communities and tell them about the facility and what services we offer. But the "underlying main purpose" would be to search for people from different backgrounds who we don't service in the center, or who haven't had a chance to get into my facility for whatever reason (didn't know about it, no transportation, not confident in English, etc.). We should make it our business to try to service every ethnic background possible, ON A CONSISTENT BASIS. Not just when we feel like it or when we're feeling all "diverse" and everything. It should be an on-going basis.

With that being said, I would like to thank my colleagues for embracing me as a classmate. I believe we displayed a wonderful example of diversity, We all had similarities and differences and that made the course very interesting. We got along just fine and that shows that people from different backgrounds can get interact with each other and learn together. I wish you all the best as we continue our EC journey. It keeps getting better and better!

Special thanks to Dr. Darragh for instructing the class and participating in our discussions. Best wishes to you as well. :-)




God bless you all!

Welcoming Families From Around the World

The name of my family's country of origin is "Timbuktu". 

Five ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards this family:

1. Do some research on the country; look on the internet and find out certain things about the country.

2. Since I would be the owner/director of a child care center, I would inform my staff about the information I found so that they can be more knowledgeable as well.

3. Then I would inform them to let the children know that we're getting a new student who is new to the country; Be nice!

4. Along with that, I would meet with the staff and come up with a "welcoming party" or something like that to make the child and the family feel more comfortable. I would have them to have the country's flag displayed in the classroom and I would attempt to have some food from their country or have them wear some clothing from that country. I would want them to feel at home away from home, especially on the first day of school. First impressions last...

5. Thereafter, I would personally meet with the parents and let them know that we are happy to have their child in our facility and that we are happy that they decided to give us a try. I would also inform the family that we will do our best to make sure that their child, as well as every other child, is treated fairly with love while receiving a quality education.

I believe that these preparations will be good for myself and the family because they would allow me to learn more about the country, which I knew nothing about, and ensure the family that my facility welcomes diversity, instead of rejects it. I say this all the time; we all need each other and we can all learn from each other as well. No man knows everything. So we should be open to learn something new everyday!

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

There is small city outside of Detroit, MI called Warren and it was known to be very prejudice against minorities, especially "black" people. However, by me attending Michigan State University, I figured I conquered the "racial barrier" that exist between some black and white people. I had been learning and interacting with white people and people from all over the world so how can anyone be prejudice towards me now? I'm too well rounded! So I thought...

My friend, her boyfriend at the time and I decided to get something to eat out there one day. I can't remember what took us out there exactly but all I know is, we were hungry and wanted food fast. So we found a diner that looked faily decent. But when we walked in, there were nothing but white people in there, both eating and working. And I mean that. No black people or "people of color" anywhere, not even a few of them. My friend's boyfriend and I instantly started feeling uncomfortable however my friend didn't see anything wrong at the time. She just wanted to eat lol.

We're standing in line, behind some white people and the hostess is treating them with the upmost respect. However, when it came our turn to be seated, she instantly says, "there's going to be a 20 minute wait", with a rude tone and then she walked away from us. And when my friend's boyfriend tried to ask her a question, she walked away while he was talking. Needless to say, we did not continue our stay there...

This event diminished equity because the hostess implied that black people were not as worthy to eat in a timely fashion, or at the same time as white people I believe. That event still boils my blook because we were really hungry and we did not have a car. So we were on foot/catching the bus and taxis and stuff. That works up an appetite in itself! I believe this event took place in 2002. I would have thought the segregated eating places would have been played out by now. I felt like I was in a time warp, because I couldn't believe that we were dealing with something like this in the 2000s!

That event showed me that we still have a long way to go. Granted, it is better than what it was. But if that level of segregation usually only exist in the south, yet, right outside of Detroit, we experienced the same thing, then that means that segregation and prejudices exists EVERYWHERE!

The hostess and the practice of restaurant would have had to change in order for this incident to be changed into an opportunity for greater equity. People of all colors should be able to eat wherever they want to eat. I must admit that Warren has improved a lot over the years. My cousin (who's black) lives out there now and she loves it. So there is hope for society to change as well. It may happen taking baby steps but as long as steps are being taken, we should be ok. A change is coming!